Pregnancy and Infant Loss
Your baby matters, however brief your time together. After a miscarriage, stillbirth or death of a child, you may feel you've entered a new and isolated world, unsure of how to share your loss with other people in your lives. Profound sadness, anger, confusion, fear and shame are just some of the emotions you might be experiencing.
Adding to the shock and pain is a culture that doesn't know how to support or talk about grief, and even close friends and family members may be uncomfortable or uncertain how to approach you. Understandably, many mothers and families struggle to find a way to acknowledge their pregnancies and the baby that is no longer with them.
There is no timeline for grief; there is no blueprint for loss. There is no "right way" to feel or act. You may ask someone to take photographs, hand and footprints. You may want to diaper and dress your baby, or wash their hair. You may not have anything tangible of your child, or it may be too heartbreaking to look.
Your grief will be your own, and it will change with time. Initially, it may feel far too painful to be witnessed. But at some point—be it a day, a week, a month or a year later—you may yearn to recognize your baby, to be seen in your loss and to mourn with others.
"I told Hannah I was going to cry during the ceremony, which of course I did. She just slowed down, let me have my moment, and radiated caring and compassion."
Rituals create space to express your emotions and process your experiences in a concrete and meaningful way. Ceremonies can incorporate cultural, religious or spiritual traditions as well as universal principles of compassion, healing and hope to acknowledge your child and the place they will always have in your family.
Finding a way to honor your baby's small but important life can be incredibly healing. I'm not sure what will feel best for you, but I am ready to listen. I will help you think and feel through the possibilities, and we will figure it out together.
"Hannah's work is so powerful and meaningful. She gave us space to be reflective, and guidance towards accepting an outcome we had not originally imagined."
Whether it's talking through different options for memorializing your child, performing a small, private ritual, officiating a public funeral ceremony or celebration of life, or designing a tree planting in your own backyard, we can honor your loss and celebrate the baby who has so deeply changed you.
I offer my services to individuals and families regardless of their ability to pay. We can talk about options during our initial consultation, which is always free.
"Hannah led such a beautiful ceremony, and her presence was palpably peaceful.
See my guide to Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Loss rituals, written in honor of International Bereaved Mother's Day.
Learn about Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and the International Wave of Light memorial.
Read a mother's reflections on the mourning ritual we created to honor infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss.