Weddings in the Time of Covid

Shannon Giselle Photography

“We got to have a beautiful and meaningful ceremony despite the absence of in-person guests, a bridal party, readers or a reception."

Anne and Jesse were among millions of couples faced with an unexpected decision: whether or not to have a wedding in 2020.  Why, when you can't have a big celebration, would you still want a wedding? 

The twenty couples I married in 2020 (and some, again, in 2021!) all had their own answer.

Shannon Giselle Photography

As Anne told me in her initial inquiry, “Our big wedding in August 2020 obviously had to be cancelled, but we very much want to be married to each other. Our families are not in the area, so it will be just the two of us with our families over Zoom."  She went on to say:

 “The more we feel how uncertain things are with the virus,
we want to do something special and real now."

Jesse and Anne weren't sure if they'd get their “big wedding" later, so they decided to keep their venue, photographer, attire and more. Anne wrote, “We are grieving what would have been, but trying to make this a really special experience with a meaningful ceremony." In the end, that was the part that mattered most.

Matthew Cavanaugh Photography

Matthew Modoono Photography

Many Covid-19 weddings were essentially elopements, with or without a later “redo." FaceTime, Zoom and videos helped couples feel connected and share the moment with their loved ones.

One bride (above) wrote, “My fiancé and I were originally supposed to have our wedding in September but we are pushing it back until next year. We don't want to wait to get married, however." They recognized that weddings and marriages are not synonymous. 

And while you can get married just about anywhere — in a courthouse, at an event venue or safely socially distanced in a park, as many did in 2020 — couples who invested time and intention in their ceremony understood that a signed license is only the final seal on their marriage.

Tricia McCormack Photography

Dani Fine Photography

Lauren Dobish Photography

Hillary C. Photography

Weddings with guests in attendance were mostly limited to immediate family. While Covid-19 stripped away most other aspects of the event, these tiny or “micro" weddings retained at their heart a beautifully personalized ceremony to celebrate the couple's journey and include their loved ones in their marriage.

​With this as one of, if not the only part remaining of their original wedding plans, couples got to see how singularly important the ceremony truly is. No longer a footnote or something to simply “get through" before the reception, the ceremony — the wed-ing — became ​the wedding. As Kristy and Andrew (above) wrote:

“We're so grateful to Hannah for helping to make our wedding a
​bright spot this year for us and our families."

Christina Rosario Photography

Lindsey Topham Photography

Mark Spooner Photography

Fear and love were diametrically opposed in Covid-19 weddings; precautions and safety weighed heavily on the minds of all attendees. Thus, beautiful outdoor spaces were well-appreciated in 2020!  One couple wrote, “We were in the midst of Covid-19 and all of the unknowns that came with it. Hannah allowed us to go forward while still feeling safe."​

Many couples spoke about the additional stress of navigating all the twists and turns of pandemic wedding planning: location, guest count, health status, masks, distancing, food, hand sanitizer... Blessedly, while the outward form of their weddings had to change dramatically, their ceremonies didn't have to. As another bride wrote:

“Planning a wedding during a pandemic was not ideal, but our ceremony remained the one sure thing throughout COVID."

Flavio D Photography

Emma and Beau Photography

Many weddings had guests attending via Zoom, but couples differed in how they included technology in the ceremony. Most everyone wanted to acknowledge their loved ones who couldn't be there in person, but a few wanted to make it an even more central part of their ceremony.

One couple (above) asked their Zoom guests to light a candle at home while we at the venue passed a flame from candle to candle. The couple then shared a slideshow they'd made of all the family members and friends they wished could have been there. Afterward, they wrote:

“Since we had to scale back, we invited all our guests virtually. Hannah made it feel completely cohesive despite unusual circumstances."

2020 and 2021 Weddings - Leah Freeman Photography

2020 and 2021 Weddings - The Gowans Photography

I got to be part of the 2020 and 2021 ceremonies for three couples: first, the intimate marriage ceremony, and next, the big celebration. It was wonderful to share in not just one once-in-a-lifetime day, but two! And with two weddings and two consecutive rounds of planning, we got to grow an even deeper connection. As one couple (above) shared:

“​We feel that because of the genuine relationship we built with Hannah, both ceremonies she created for us were deeply authentic."

​The following ceremony excerpt shows how each event fit together into a unified whole.

Of course, the couple was officially married here last September – under the old hickory tree just out there in the field – with me and only a tiny handful of you in attendance.

That was like Part One, in a way. After all, these two have been “getting married” for a really long time now!

And so today is like Part Two. Today is the fulfillment of their promise: reaffirming their vows and sharing their love with all of you. It’s a new day – the “big one” they wanted – and this is a new ceremony. 

Together we get to make a new memory. The couple gets to share a new “best day of their lives.”

​And today we get to feel renewed excitement for the future…fresh hope for happy days to come…and a special reminder that love is something for all of us to be grateful for.

2021 Postponement - Alex Lindsay Photography

2021 Postponement - Mark Spooner Photography

2021 Postponement - Chattman Photography

Couples who postponed their celebrations until 2021 were on a long rollercoaster ride, with all their planning and preparations taking place over Zoom and email. One bride (top) wrote: “​Especially during the pandemic, Hannah was a sea of calm in a world of chaos."

It wasn't only the stress that was hard, but also the sorrow of letting go of cherished plans while trying to envision an unknown future. Another bride (above) shared, “Our big day was supposed to happen in June 2020, but we had to postpone our wedding until 2021." She went on to say:

“Hannah was such a calm and positive presence through all of the stress and sadness of having to replan and wait an extra year. We valued our conversations with her throughout the process."

2022 Postponement - Christina Rosario Photography

2022 Postpontment - Novella Photography

And finally, a shout-out to the three patient couples I worked with who waited an extra two years to have their big celebration! Two of them also waited to get legally married, while one (above) had a small ceremony with only their parents attending before the wedding day they shared with everyone in 2022. The bride wrote:

“Though we had already gotten married, Hannah created a beautiful space and provided a ​special ceremony for our friends and family."

There were 1.7 million weddings in 2020. That's 1.7 million couples trying to discern what mattered most to them in the face of a new, frightening and utterly unknown reality. But the couples whose weddings I got to officiate in the pandemic all understood that within their ceremony was that which remained unchanged:

Love.

And, despite distance, connection.

Emma and Beau Photography

The following ceremony excerpt is a perfect summary of a 2020 “micro" wedding.

Weddings are always meaningful milestones, but I have to say, planning a wedding in 2020 is not for the faint of heart!

So many simple things we took for granted - a hug, a handshake, a meal together, seeing a friend's smile - are now filled with complexity.

And so, particularly in this time, the couple is so grateful to have you all with them today…wherever you are in this moment.

From near and far, your presence is a gift to them, for you have watched them grow up and shared in their lives and their love for one another.  

It means so much that today you will witness them take their first step into a new life together, as Husband and Wife.

And though this is not exactly the celebration this couple had first envisioned, today is a day set apart.

This is a day full of love; a day we get to experience a sense of joy and hope and goodness that resonates far beyond these two people, touching all of us here…in person and virtually.

These are times to reaffirm the bonds which endure any separation, any distance.

In that way we honor, too, the couple’s bold and resilient grandparents whose courageous lives forged the path for these two to one day find each other.

Just imagine with me that great and mysterious tapestry in which we are woven…the energy that moves through all things…the web which connects each of us to the other…to the before and the after.

Consider the lives that had to intertwine through countless generations - the luck and chance, the risks taken and decisions made - just for each of us to arrive at this moment!

Taking a breath in . . . here we find ourselves: both in the presence of the past, and at the threshold of the future.

Wherever we are right now, let us be here now, together now.

And let us be grateful for this moment.  ​