Yesterday at a gathering of friends something significant occurred to me: I'm too overwhelmed to talk about what's going on with me, and too tired to listen to what's going on for other people. Which in large part answers the question of why I've been feeling so strange, so unlike me. I usually feel so competent and "together," and generally I'm a great listener. Now I appeared to be neither. A little background, perhaps...
A few weeks ago I shared that we have to move in August, shortly after we return from our honeymoon. My fiancé and I have been looking for a home for 3 years so while the timing is bad, the motivation is good. Well, we made an offer on a house last week which was accepted on the condition that we close in 30 days (slightly less, actually)...which turns out to be just a few days before our wedding.
Don't get me wrong. I am very aware of how lucky I am to be marrying a wonderful man and buying our own home. And I know I could be overwhelmed by the loss of a job, financial struggles, illness, etc., instead of all these blessings. But even gratitude hasn't shifted my feeling that sometimes there's just too much of a good thing.
Today I'm going to try something new, though. I'm not going to beat myself up for feeling overwhelmed by good things. I'm not going to worry that I don't feel like my "normal self" (these aren't normal circumstances!). What am I going to do? Then this little guy appeared out of nowhere today, reminding me that I don't get to be in control of everything all the time.
Really?? Darn it.
Poetry and Musings of an Interfaith Minister on the Journey of a Lifetime.