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Mother Blessing Rituals from a Blessingway Ceremony

3/30/2015

Here I am, one year to the day since I had my mother blessing. Last year, March 30th was a new moon - the perfect time for a blessingway.

"Restfully, gently the world prepares for new. To embrace the potential of darkness we must surrender to the unknown and let go of our attachments to the future. For it is in darkness, this place of the unknown, that all things sacred, all things of joy and beauty and pleasure come. From darkness, life is born."

~ Brittany Nickerson, Thyme Herbal

Of all the rites of passage I've experienced, both formal and informal, my blessingway stands out as the most significant, and perhaps the most powerful. I was so grateful to have six of the dearest women in my life, including my mother and sister, come together to bless my journey into motherhood just 11 days, it would turn out, before I gave birth.

Birth Affirmations

One of the most cherished gifts from my mother blessing were the affirmations for my birth. Full of powerful wisdom, encouragement and faith, these blessingway affirmations stayed with me through birth and continue to offer guidance as I journey deeper into motherhood.

May their words bring you strength and confidence!

You can read some of their wonderful affirmations here.

I specifically requested touch; birth is, if nothing else, a physical experience and I wanted to honor that in the blessingway. The woman decided to take turns massaging my belly with lavender oil while offering their blessings to my soon-to-be-born daughter.

Mother & Child card by Maxine Noel

I ask that the new child/woman
be filled with light
all her days,
that she be treasured
in the arms
of Hannah and Alexander, and that she be sheltered
and lifted up
in the hands
of the Goddess.

They also included a fear release exercise from "The Pregnant Woman’s Comfort Book," adapted slightly by TalkBirth. One idea she suggests for a blessingway ritual is to circle around the pregnant woman holding hands and then read the following together:

There goes all fear you hold about giving birth. The birth will be perfect.

There goes all fear you hold about healing. You will heal beautifully.

There goes all fear you hold about not being a good mother. You will be enough.

There goes all fear of never being creative again. You have a deep well of creativity within your soul.

There goes the deepest, most private fears you have about giving birth. You will be enough.

You will be enough. You are strong enough.

As a writer, one element that was particularly meaningful from my blessingway were the readings and poems my mother, sister and oldest friend shared with me. You can read those and along with a labor prayer here.

Last and most dear is this doll my mother gave to me, along with the story of Vasilisa the Beautiful. In the Russian fairy tale, on her death bed Vasilisa's mother gives her a tiny wooden doll to carry. With the help of the doll, Vasilisa was able to perform the many tasks set before her.

My Vasilisa doll stays by my bedside where I see it every day, and I live each day blessed by my mother's wisdom and love.

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Poems, Prayers and Readings for a Blessingway Ceremony

3/25/2015

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At this time last year I was eagerly awaiting the birth of our daughter. The labor and birth - not to mention finally getting to meet her and hold her in my arms - occupied my entire being.

The blessingway or mother blessing the dearest women in my life held for me was the turning point in my emotional and spiritual readiness for birth and motherhood.

You can read more about my own blessingway here and the special birth affirmations here.

Remember mother blessings can be anything from an intricate, scripted ceremony to a few women gathering together with the simple intention to bless the mother-to-be. One element that was particularly meaningful from my own blessingway were the readings and poems my mother, sister and oldest friend shared with me.

It wasn't until after I gave birth that I fully understood their powerful beauty and truth. I hope you treasure these words as much as I have.

Willow Tree
~ Anonymous

I am a willow tree,
Strong, yet fluid
graceful.

I can bend with the wind,
but my roots are tough,
indestructible.

Opening to birth my child
is flowing with the wind:

from a soft and gentle breeze
to a stormy gale
back to a soft and gentle breeze.

My body is strong, but flexible.
It is my friend, it knows how to open.

I am a friend to my body
eating well, walking, and loving myself.

I shall birth safely, freely, openly . . .
among my loved and trusted ones.

I am the willow, flexible
beautiful resilient
endowed with the power of surrender
to the wind rustling through my leaves,
my branches.

My roots reach deep into Mother Earth
Anchored in Her strength
I bring forth life
In joy!

From the book Joyful Birth: A Spiritual Path to Motherhood
by Susan Piver

The path of motherhood has a beginning but no end. It’s constantly changing and constantly challenging. Along the way, we encounter our personal limits over and over. We fall in love over and over. We ride the sharp edge of hope and fear. On this path of discovery, as on any spiritual path, our pretensions are shattered, our minds are blown, and our hearts are opened. We cry, we laugh, we bumble around and make countless mistakes. Through it all, we are gently—or abruptly—poked into greater honesty, loving-kindness, and understanding. It is a truly joyful path.

The memory of my children's birth has become a talisman that I hold in my heart as I journey deeper and deeper into motherhood. For these moments come again in every mother’s life—the times when we are asked to walk straight into our pain and fear, and in doing so, open up to a love that is greater than anything we ever could have imagined: all life’s beauty and wonder, as well as all the ways that things can break and go wrong…Again and again, motherhood demands that we break through our limitations, that we split our hearts open to make room for something that may be more than we thought we could bear. In that sense, the labor with which we give birth is simply a rehearsal for something we mothers must do over and over: turn ourselves inside out, and then let go.

A Prayer for One Who Comes to Choose This Life
by Danelia Wild

May she know the welcome
of open arms and hearts

May she know she is loved
by many and by one

May she know the circle of friendship that gives
and receives love in all its forms

May she know and be known
in the heart of another

May she know the heart
that is this earth
reach for the stars and
call it home

And in the end
may she find everything
in her heart
and her heart
in everything

My Birth Altar

There's one more prayer I want to include here. It arrived unexpectedly in the birth kit my midwives had me order from www.inhishands.com. It was a purple bookmark with prayer written by Donna Wilson. I don't identify as Christian but my father was (he died when I was 10), and we were raised going to church. Something about this prayer reminded me of him and it found a home on my birth altar; it's the kind of prayer I hope he might have said if he'd lived to see me become a mother.

A Labor Prayer
by Donna Wilson

Dear Father, thank you for this new baby.
Would You protect and nurture this baby
and bring this pregnancy to full term.

In labor, would You remove all fear
and replace it with faith and expectation.

Please give those attending the birth
wisdom to take the best care of mother and baby.

Please let this baby be born normal and whole,
healthy and strong, and at home
with no complications with baby or mother.

Father, thank you for hearing my prayer,
for I pray in the name of Him who is called
Wonderful, Counselor, The Mighty God,
The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.
Amen.

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Henna Belly Mother Blessing

3/15/2013

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A few days ago I wrote about a Blessingway gathering with wonderful rituals like tying string mauli bracelets and writing baby blessing cards. Today I want to share a different kind of mother blessing. Only about a week before her due date, my friend Amy invited a few close women friends and henna artist Kelly Flaherty of Henna Elements to come to her home for an impromptu henna belly mother blessing.

Henna has been used since the Bronze Age as an adornment for celebrations including weddings, holidays and coming-of-age rituals. Many countries including Morocco and India have traditions of applying henna during the third trimester of pregnancy. The practice is not only beautiful and soothing in itself; it's an opportunity to experience an ancient and sacred birth ritual.

After eating fruit and chocolate fondue (a mother blessing essential!), talking and getting teary eyed about labor and children and life, Kelly painted this Tree of Life in henna on Amy's belly. This incredible image is actually an impression she recalled from her earliest dream (around 4 or 5 years of age). She sees it as her kundalini energy, which literally means "coiled" in Sanskrit and is often pictured as a snake, binding her fully and profoundly to life.

A few days later Kelly contacted Amy to share with her, "I know you wanted eight [tree limbs] to signify the eight branches of yoga, but for some reason when I was mapping it out, it felt very strong to have three roots at the bottom. It occurred to me when I was finishing that the three 'branches' or roots at the bottom symbolize you, your husband and your daughter creating a safe strong support for the new family member coming in. Sometimes the henna seems to have a mind of it's own."

About a week later, Cian (an Irish name meaning ancient and enduring) Maitreya (a Sanskrit name meaning loving kindness, empathy, compassion and benevolence) was born at home.

Welcome baby boy ~ we're so glad you're here!

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"Elephant Circle" Mother Blessing

3/12/2013

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Last week I wrote about Spring Rebirth, an internal shift from winter's fallowness to spring's fertility. But there is a reason we associate springtime with eggs and bunnies: babies! I've been honored to take part in several blessing ceremonies for babies due to arrive this spring.

Unlike a conventional baby shower which focuses heavily on presents and shower games, these blessing ceremonies concentrated on the expectant mother. Called a mother blessing or Blessingway, they are rooted in Native American traditions. Blessingway rituals mark the significance of the birth process, gathering the "tribe" to honor and bless the sacred transition into motherhood.

We called one recent gathering of women an "elephant circle," in reference to the way female elephants encircle a mother while she gives birth.

One of my favorite rituals from the mother blessing was when we stood in a circle and wrapped our wrists with yellow yarn, offering our blessings and wishes for the birth. Then we cut the yarn connecting us and tied them into bracelets, each of us wearing ours until the baby is born.

In India, red or yellow string bracelets called mauli are worn when performing puja or attending prayer ceremonies. Worn for protection and well-being, it symbolizes goodwill when one person gives mauli to another. And just like a string tied around your finger, the bracelets are an everyday reminder of mother and baby.

Another favorite were the handmade elephant cards by Ms. Ellaneous. After writing our baby blessings, we strung the cards on ribbon to decorate the baby's room.

Yana Cortlund, co-author of Mother Rising: The Blessingway Journey Into Motherhood,
writes, "Birth is a key life passage for women. But modern culture has become preoccupied with the arrival of the baby-to-be and has lost touch with birth's profound impact on the expectant mother."

As we strive for ever more "both/and" in our society, I hope we celebrate not only the wonderful new person being born (including showering the family with gifts to help them prepare) but the important opportunity to pause: to attend to the sacred within everyday experience, and to nurture our connection to ourselves and each other.

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Mother Blessing Rituals from a Blessingway Ceremony

I ask that the new child/woman
be filled with light
all her days,
that she be treasured
in the arms
of Hannah and Alexander, and that she be sheltered
and lifted up
in the hands
of the Goddess.

You will be enough. You are strong enough.

Poems, Prayers and Readings for a Blessingway Ceremony

Henna Belly Mother Blessing

"Elephant Circle" Mother Blessing

Rev. Hannah Grace

Poetry and Musings of an Interfaith Minister on the Journey of a Lifetime.

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© 2020 Grace Ceremonies | Header © Sandra Costello Photography

Mother Blessing Rituals from a Blessingway Ceremony

​I ask that the new child/woman be filled with light all her days, that she be treasured in the arms of Hannah and Alexander, and that she be sheltered and lifted up in the hands of the Goddess.

You will be enough. You are strong enough.

Poems, Prayers and Readings for a Blessingway Ceremony

Henna Belly Mother Blessing

"Elephant Circle" Mother Blessing

Rev. Hannah Grace

Poetry and Musings of an Interfaith Minister on the Journey of a Lifetime.

Categories

HOME ABOUT CEREMONIES COUPLES FAMILIES FAQS CONTACT BLOG

© 2020 Grace Ceremonies | Header © Sandra Costello Photography

I ask that the new child/woman
be filled with light
all her days,
that she be treasured
in the arms
of Hannah and Alexander, and that she be sheltered
and lifted up
in the hands
of the Goddess.