Of all the rites of passage I've experienced, both formal and informal, my blessingway stands out as the most significant, and perhaps the most powerful. I was so grateful to have six of the dearest women in my life, including my mother and sister, come together to bless my journey into motherhood just 11 days, it would turn out, before I gave birth.
I specifically requested touch; birth is, if nothing else, a physical experience and I wanted to honor that in the blessingway. The woman decided to take turns massaging my belly with lavender oil while offering their blessings to my soon-to-be-born daughter. They also included a fear release exercise from "The Pregnant Woman’s Comfort Book," adapted slightly by TalkBirth. One idea she suggests for a blessingway ritual is to circle around the pregnant woman holding hands and then read the following together:
You will be enough. You are strong enough.
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Remember mother blessings can be anything from an intricate, scripted ceremony to a few women gathering together with the simple intention to bless the mother-to-be. One element that was particularly meaningful from my own blessingway were the readings and poems my mother, sister and oldest friend shared with me. It wasn't until after I gave birth that I fully understood their powerful beauty and truth. I hope you treasure these words as much as I have. Willow Tree |
We called one recent gathering of women an "elephant circle," in reference to the way female elephants encircle a mother while she gives birth. |
One of my favorite rituals from the mother blessing was when we stood in a circle and wrapped our wrists with yellow yarn, offering our blessings and wishes for the birth. Then we cut the yarn connecting us and tied them into bracelets, each of us wearing ours until the baby is born.
In India, red or yellow string bracelets called mauli are worn when performing puja or attending prayer ceremonies. Worn for protection and well-being, it symbolizes goodwill when one person gives mauli to another. And just like a string tied around your finger, the bracelets are an everyday reminder of mother and baby. |
Another favorite were the handmade elephant cards by Ms. Ellaneous. After writing our baby blessings, we strung the cards on ribbon to decorate the baby's room.
Yana Cortlund, co-author of Mother Rising: The Blessingway Journey Into Motherhood,
writes, "Birth is a key life passage for women. But modern culture has become preoccupied with the arrival of the baby-to-be and has lost touch with birth's profound impact on the expectant mother."
As we strive for ever more "both/and" in our society, I hope we celebrate not only the wonderful new person being born (including showering the family with gifts to help them prepare) but the important opportunity to pause: to attend to the sacred within everyday experience, and to nurture our connection to ourselves and each other.
writes, "Birth is a key life passage for women. But modern culture has become preoccupied with the arrival of the baby-to-be and has lost touch with birth's profound impact on the expectant mother."
As we strive for ever more "both/and" in our society, I hope we celebrate not only the wonderful new person being born (including showering the family with gifts to help them prepare) but the important opportunity to pause: to attend to the sacred within everyday experience, and to nurture our connection to ourselves and each other.
Rev. Hannah Grace
Poetry and Musings of an Interfaith Minister on the Journey of a Lifetime.
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